top of page

mindspace

The Art of Asking - What not to do


The single most important habit for progressing is the ability to ask.

You have to ask in order to get.


In companies today, when there is so much competition, those who ask what they want stand at least 80% chance of getting what they want


So whether its in your profession or in your personal life, asking will surely get you started on the conversation


However lot of us assume we will get things automatically. You could be thinking working hard will get your that raise. Or your manager will add you into the prestigious project based on your last performance. While this is still possible, what is also true is that leaders tend to forget even their most deserving team members due to several reasons. Asking for it will not only help you get advantage of being chosen but also put your request in their mind.


As kids we have grown up asking lot of questions. And because we questioned, we learnt and progressed in our life.


But somewhere down the line, we get into a stage where we start expecting people to understand us. We expect that they will know exactly what we want. And when they don’t respond the way you want them to, there’s a crash in that expectation.


So why not simplify this and just ask. Here are few things however you must not do … the keys to asking


1. Stop assuming others are mind readers


We often assume our bosses, colleagues, our good friends and especially our spouses can read our minds. Well they can’t. Creating unreasonable expectations that others will know what you want will only hurt you more. So be very practical and don’t assume.


2. Don’t give hints


No one is taking them. No one really will. The reality is that other people will rarely care as much about your needs and desires as you do. It is better to be direct as hinting will never work. And neither do generic requests.


3. Don’t be generic